A million dollar love .

If little drops fell on my face,
and one look said it all,
if one smile was worth a million dollars ,
I would fly, laugh , talk and would jump.
But you shall walk,
walk a mile , make an effort,
let yourself free,
and help me become what I've always dreamt to be.
If I was a bird , I would want you to be it too,
this persuasion would persist until agreed to.
How beautiful this is ?
no words, only an essence,
your soul gels with mine ,
slips into the deepest of me ,
and soothes the craving.
My eyes say , they talk,
a language , unknown , unseen , unheard.
Be the translator, take the charge ,
it would go unnoticed, if you simply barge.
A fortunate turn of events and countless realizations ,
this life is not always in tandem with our aspirations,
it's a sequence of baits and charms.
Sometimes I wonder , How this life would've been without your footprints,
impressions on sand and my being.

I want to live , live this life in every way,
Pay the price and I wouldn't mind getting hurt thrice,
But after this , you'd have to be there,
there with me , because I would need a string of hope to wake up and breathe.
Breathe the air of genuinity , purity and femininity ,
Come and make me see , Who I am ?
Paint a painting, a reward of your imagination.
I would watch you with your gentle fingers , spread across the canvas .
The sunlight would lighten up the darkened days ,
with the moonlight the deafening silence would fade.
Let me sway , sway with the wind , (like the Lillis),
You can make anything feel beautiful even something as dry as the winter chill .
So tell me , listen to me and answer me .
I watch you , I observe you and I follow you .
And in real time , I run , I hide , I dream ,
Dream , to be as magical as you make me believe .



Maybe I'd put a thought or to ,
that if I ever lose you , I would lie ,
Lie on the grass , gaze at the stars with a hope to find you there ,
or back with me home .
I would search the woods and tops of the trees , if you decide to leave ,
Leave in your plans , leave with the breeze ,.
I would want to hold you , even if my hand would pass through .
I know we're in this together , like we all are ,
it's a cycle , a nature governed one .
Let's run away , go to a distant land.
What matters is the thrill in my life that you generate ,
the trust in your eyes , that I wouldn't ever want to escape .
These aren't expectations but the desired story of my life ,
a life spun with a golden thread ,
as priceless as French Vintage Red Wine .
          

Inexplicable

The sky was dark, and the darkness thundered,
I stood there, waiting for the pour,
It was evident, it wasn't liked,
I wished to paint and dance in the night,
let go off what was thought , preserve myself ever more .
A clear sense of vitality washed me
Now , it was a new day , a new life,
an inexplicable one indeed,
a feeling much awaited ,
a feeling well rewarded,
How fair the "GREAT ONE IS" , I thought,
but did that even matter, when he planned to give me all,
all the smiles and credit,
the respect and I knew I'd made it ,
made it to the stars , the moon and the sun,
this victory was inexplicable,
after all the confusions and lows,
I stood there understanding, the feeling of life and not it's meaning,
a tough journey that was , with sprouts of resistance ,
but all was meant only for the strong , the mighty , the determined ,
there wasn't any room for , breaking or bowing,
no crowd , no soul : to support ,
I crossed the ocean , ALL ALONE ,
and now when I look back,
all the pain seems worth it,
coz what this victory means,
nobody can understand it .

I wrote this poem , regarding my experience as a house captain , and how I made it sure that it got back it's original position : THE BEST ALL ROUNDER HOUSE 2012 (NALANDA)

Miraze

 Today I walk a lonely road with dreams , wishes and desire ,

every thing's so plain , it's simple ,

it's destined to be straight .

Point's of reflection -when I look back ,

a stark realisation strikes me .

People come and people leave,

with hope to live it again,

do feelings alter , or people change ,

or is it just a part of a chain .

Broken promises and countless memories,

not better than an anchor,

which coaxes the vessel to wait- until hope disappears,

the myths say "everything is give and take" ,

always was and will be ,

but my utopia bubble was way too strong - to let in such thinking .

I know I have to be there ,

with an open mind and an ever accepting soul ,

but all they do is walk past by and hardly seem to care ,

Lonely nights , teary eyed , I cross my journey safe ,

bumps and smooths ,

twists and turns mark the nature of it ,

with no hand to help , without support , I struggle to stand up again

when the world walked out , I was there,

in pursuit to infinitely care ,

now , I am here , now I am alone ,

with silent laughter everywhere,

My eyes talk , they say alot , but there seemed no listener anywhere,

time isn't given , it rather is made ,

only if this mattered ,

it would've struck your mighty brain .

So go ahead , with arms wide open ,

give love and breathe it ,

you never know it might just be the only reason one relieves oneself from it ,

hug and touch , hold and comfort cause that is how it works ,

life is filled with ups and downs ,

one can go through highs and lows ,

but what matters is the bond that exists ,

Since there isn't anything special commonplace .

Just a Fad ..

hello :)
I can't believe that I am finally writing and blogging after 2 and a half whole months ,even though I crossed various points wherein I felt this consistent craving of spilling out whatever I'd been collecting within the clear vicinity of my evolving mind .Well I guess that is what grade 12 ,aspirations and yes off course a transition phase which is inevitable can do to you . :P
But none the less I guess the wait was worth it . Many a times, I tried sorting out my thoughts  to produce them with the help of mere words and alphabets, but then found my self unable to do so . Now after so many days , I am here with ample realisations and observations that would suffice for another few writings .
It's exactly been a year since I attended my first Mock Mun before I took off to China for an International one . I still remember how fascinated I'd always been with this form of discussion and  debate and considered diplomacy to be an art which I always wished to master. Communication skills , considerable research and confidence is what I thought mattered in this simulated race of solving world problems . I feel embarrassed when I recall how blank I was on the first day of the Mock ,that during the first UN-moderated caucus  ,I asked a friend of mine to tell me on what basis I was suppose to support 'The GROUPS' being formed then . When he answered that I was to be with my 'ALLIES' and look into my country's 'foreign policy' , I simply wanted to disappear as I had no clue about any of the above .
But whatever it was ,the entire experience taught me alot , and I discovered all healthy and positive points about my personality . This encouraged me to take part in a few other Mun's ,holding all together different countries and stances . When I seemed to recognise my addiction and passion for this 'ART' , I started observing it more closely to know whether I really wanted to do it or not .
How I saw Muning then and the way I view it now , the opinions are poles apart .
I always thought it made you know yourself and yes it did , you always could assess your  capabilities and to my surprise your Wit  and shrewdness .
Judging the book by it’s cover is one mistake that I made , and as the time passed by I realised the truth behind this ever so emerging fad .
MUN'ning to me is nothing else than a forum to flaunt your style and looks , meet new people and for some non serious souls , check out the opposite gender representatives .
It’s a pool that can be highlighted with a cunning streak and  politics .  Your ability to pull some one down and in this case someone with a mediocre research JUST TO GET AN AWARD ,like seriously AN AWARD , is what counts .
Honestly it’s losing it’s class , . Wherever you turn your attention towards ,you have that very organisation conducting an Mun , it’ rather like a ‘herd walk’ ,where people are only concerned with organising one to create a hype in the general arena .
Cut the awards , cut the formality and then see how many dedicated individuals or I may say ‘delegates’ are interested to discuss about the current situation in Libya or the issue of membership expansion in U.N.E.P .
It’s ruthless and smart .
It’s all Give and Take ,you give me a position now , you get a position like you get an interest from the bank after a few months . Strangely , if you are blessed with symmetrical features capable of attracting the our counterparts then you don’t even require a good research or any knowledge of you country’s role in the situation being discussed ,just wear formals and a touch up on your face and be an author of the resolution before the table .
I didn’t want to be blunt but I guess the spirit of honesty ,is just persuading me to share more and more of what I think .

I realised all of this a couple of weeks back , but settling of the fact took much longer .

It’s more or less like , an addiction : like smoking is to a few people , the active smoker knows that it’s bad but is still unable to take a stand and formulate a decision . Not that I say that Munning is something frivolous or Unhealthy ,but I just know that it is definitely not my cup of tea .

 To be more specific ,if this is what you enjoy doing then go for it , but at the end reflect back and see for yourself how much you are gaining from it and not to forget to analyse it’s genuinity.

Who cares ?

She stared ,
she looked around,
she had nowhere to go,
nothing to hide,
It was white,
the absence of colours,
made the blankness get on to her,
her thoughts seemed suspended.
It wasn't strange,
neither was it new,
It was routine now,
she sensed her eyes water,
saw the intensity pile up.
Her body grew numb,
refused her mind to work,
her will broke ,
and courage shook,
she was shattered , thrown helpless,
she was done with all the criticism,
she gave up the spirit,
she lost control,
These daily tales were turning her against ,her inner self ,
they were making her despise her soul ,
she was losing out on stability,
she knew she was wasting time : Trying ,
The world thought she was humane,
They had always known the subtle her,
an identity with a conscious,
a part of the crowd ,yet stood out ,
but the ones who mattered discarded it ,
they didn't know how concerned she got even when someone got mocked,
she knew they weren't aware.
Ignorance is bliss ,
but Ignorance is effortless,
she often wondered why she looked down upon herself,
Low Self Esteem is what everybody calls it ,
was she to be blamed ??
was the nature responsible ?
or was there  a lapse in the nurture ?
Who cares ?
Until they had her as the perfect scapegoat ,
she didn't ask for much and neither did she wish for ,
all she desired was acceptance ,
a recognition of her being,
attachment to her smile ,
and happiness *sigh* ,


Now ,
she feels lonely,
she cries , she digests ,
but still never speaks ,
she becomes negative,
mood swings are her closest friends,
she becomes unsure and loses hope ,
but sadly at the end endures it ,
one against infinity has never worked,
neither did it in her case.
Who is she ?
she herself has lost touch with herself ,
Statements and judgements have always pulled her down,
Or I may say who cares ?
She is just a normal girl they think ,
 people who she loves,
Maybe a puppet in their hands,
there is no question of flight,
she struggles to open her wings,
but the walls that surround her,
are always successful in cutting them off ,
she feels suffocated, she feels choked ,
she goes through the pain ,without uttering a word ,
she is left bruised ,she is left hurt ,
she never complains and infact she cares ,
she empathises in a hope to bring out a smile on the face that needs it ,
she knows that she is not the best , but neither is she the worst ,
she just another name - But who cares ??
And At the end she stands alone .

As long as they loved ....

'I want to flee' ,said he

alone amongst the crowd,

shady and dark,

captured by responsibility,

in search of stability .

'I am here',smiled she

promised to stand by,

until he was freed ,

yet doubtful ,whether they would succeed,

In search of the best one had ever seen.

The risk worked and they stood there,

she let him fly and saw some dreams burn,

she didn't retort and felt the time run,

it was angelic ,it was perfect ,

she realised she wasted  time being sceptic.

Until one day they discovered,

it wasn't much that could be done,

they knew she was weak and that made him too low,

Advices to smile and false hopes,

But they knew it was easier to say,

than one could actually do.

'But you were all that I had' ,cried he,

'Maybe angels are only sent to help thee' ,

he had to pay back,he had to be there,

because she helped him release his innate fear.

'One month she has' ,claimed the doctors,

he prayed hard so as the situation could be altered,

she lived her days and wished to rewind,

'why did this happen to us' ??

So many questions he had in mind,

no answers but questions.

They knew now moments didn't matter memories did,

It was sure,she would go,

And with this he loved her even more.

He decided to sing,he made her laugh,

he lied and cried,for all days to come,

they hugged ,breaking down with each other,

was what she once dreamt off.

She feared death ,he feared losing her,

but they tried to cover it up to ,each other,

sighs and tears all over them ,

life could be equated with a dungeon.

The ultimate day came and she passed,

he wondered why his love couldn't last,

someone who taught him how to live,

he loved her and that was the end of it.

'I'll miss you !' was what he said,

she looked peaceful and that's what he wanted ,

but he knew she was there with him,

even if the future seemed dim.

He looked at her picture and smiled,

'I have no one to share with'

'Talk to me' but nobody could hear him

A girl who came and went,

a girl who loved him fairly well ,

a girl who made him complete,

she still remained his love even when he turned sixty.

The protagonist stayed single for his entire life after the gloomy death of his love ,which totally left him devasted. But nothing changed between  them and their bond which was eternal ,except that now he travelled the world which he always wanted to do with her, alone .

But with two tickets .............................. :')

{So that he could carry her soul along...........}

I have never tried my hand in poetry ,this is my first attempt .....

Random ...

I haven't blogged since ages and today I am all ready to pen down my thoughts in the form of words and try and express whatever I've been observing from the past  one month .


 Strangely ,I felt an over whelming urge to write many a times during this entire period but I just did not give into that demand ,maybe because of time constraints introduced to me by class 12 or some unknown reasons.Okay ,so hey!! as I have lost all contact with blogging (atleast I feel so) , I am facing a problem in starting my topic :PAll this while I have tried to work on my OVER-EXCESSIVE-THINKING-SYNDROME and now have taken a back seat in life .

Life is one lesson which carries on till one's last breath and is filled with moments which can increase ur mental age to twenty years ahead of your chronological one . It's one open forum where you consistently keep coming across a whole new set of people ,who do the job of preparing you for the bigger sharks of the world .
Trust me ,everything or anything that happnes is for the good and when I say this I realise it's easier said than done .After using my blanket as a shield for all these years which was supposed to serve the puropse of protecting me from an imaginary alien invasion I decided to use it for it's actual job and get over with stuff that was only restricted to my own world . 
Meeting new people always teaches one that none of us are the same ,which is a UNIVERSAL fact as well, but as the hour and the minute hand of the clock diligently keeps performing it's duty ,one keeps getting aware about the fact that one's behaviour has to keep altering. keeping in mind the person one is interacting with .People come in and exit ,without one even getting notified and that's how life is and people on the whole are .At the end ,it's all about oneself . And that's what I've seen around right there in the world .
 We all have this bizarre problem of complicating our lives and getting caught up in the viscious cycle of when ,why and what .Sometimes all that a situation demands is to "let it go" and that's how it should be like .
Nobody knows what all one has gone through and trust me no one is intersted to sneak out from their messed up lives to help one out , I am not making a delibrate effort to sound pessimistic but I am just seeing the world from a very different perspective . It's mechanisms fascinate me ,like how people make promises just to break them and how one gets something when it's least desired .

But one thing I know for sure, that one has to fall in love with oneself before anyone else .Umm not exactly a narcissist but something else of a balanced degree ...
 Also ,I  have been indulging myself into fruitful discussions about the existence of GOD with almost everyone I have been speaking to (Yeah so this happened a countless times) and still am left with doubts in my mind .. I have had my share of questions and answers and have been a keen listener to everyone's view point as well .But even after sooo many incidences and reasons put forward by people of all ages and professions , I still haven't been able to conclude and now have rather given up on this topic . Yes ,I do believe in God and his theory of alotting marks to each and everyone of us considering our "KARMA" .


Along with all of this I have been noticing that how this world only works on manipulation and exaggertaion .One has to master in this skill to push the other one and make way for oneself .Sad to see ,how the devil laughs and the angel carries that sympathetic expression of being taken for granted . And here I am referring to Lucifer and the angels in actual sense .