Sunday, May 22, 2011

Who cares ?

She stared ,
she looked around,
she had nowhere to go,
nothing to hide,
It was white,
the absence of colours,
made the blankness get on to her,
her thoughts seemed suspended.
It wasn't strange,
neither was it new,
It was routine now,
she sensed her eyes water,
saw the intensity pile up.
Her body grew numb,
refused her mind to work,
her will broke ,
and courage shook,
she was shattered , thrown helpless,
she was done with all the criticism,
she gave up the spirit,
she lost control,
These daily tales were turning her against ,her inner self ,
they were making her despise her soul ,
she was losing out on stability,
she knew she was wasting time : Trying ,
The world thought she was humane,
They had always known the subtle her,
an identity with a conscious,
a part of the crowd ,yet stood out ,
but the ones who mattered discarded it ,
they didn't know how concerned she got even when someone got mocked,
she knew they weren't aware.
Ignorance is bliss ,
but Ignorance is effortless,
she often wondered why she looked down upon herself,
Low Self Esteem is what everybody calls it ,
was she to be blamed ??
was the nature responsible ?
or was there  a lapse in the nurture ?
Who cares ?
Until they had her as the perfect scapegoat ,
she didn't ask for much and neither did she wish for ,
all she desired was acceptance ,
a recognition of her being,
attachment to her smile ,
and happiness *sigh* ,

Now ,
she feels lonely,
she cries , she digests ,
but still never speaks ,
she becomes negative,
mood swings are her closest friends,
she becomes unsure and loses hope ,
but sadly at the end endures it ,
one against infinity has never worked,
neither did it in her case.
Who is she ?
she herself has lost touch with herself ,
Statements and judgements have always pulled her down,
Or I may say who cares ?
She is just a normal girl they think ,
 people who she loves,
Maybe a puppet in their hands,
there is no question of flight,
she struggles to open her wings,
but the walls that surround her,
are always successful in cutting them off ,
she feels suffocated, she feels choked ,
she goes through the pain ,without uttering a word ,
she is left bruised ,she is left hurt ,
she never complains and infact she cares ,
she empathises in a hope to bring out a smile on the face that needs it ,
she knows that she is not the best , but neither is she the worst ,
she just another name - But who cares ??
And At the end she stands alone .

Sunday, May 1, 2011

As long as they loved ....

'I want to flee' ,said he
alone amongst the crowd,
shady and dark,
captured by responsibility,
in search of stability .

'I am here',smiled she
promised to stand by,
until he was freed ,
yet doubtful ,whether they would succeed,
In search of the best one had ever seen.

The risk worked and they stood there,
she let him fly and saw some dreams burn,
she didn't retort and felt the time run,
it was angelic ,it was perfect ,
she realised she wasted  time being sceptic.

Until one day they discovered,
it wasn't much that could be done,
they knew she was weak and that made him too low,
Advices to smile and false hopes,
But they knew it was easier to say,
than one could actually do.

'But you were all that I had' ,cried he,
'Maybe angels are only sent to help thee' ,
he had to pay back,he had to be there,
because she helped him release his innate fear.

'One month she has' ,claimed the doctors,
he prayed hard so as the situation could be altered,
she lived her days and wished to rewind,
'why did this happen to us' ??

So many questions he had in mind,
no answers but questions.
They knew now moments didn't matter memories did,
It was sure,she would go,
And with this he loved her even more.

He decided to sing,he made her laugh,
he lied and cried,for all days to come,
they hugged ,breaking down with each other,
was what she once dreamt off.

She feared death ,he feared losing her,
but they tried to cover it up to ,each other,
sighs and tears all over them ,
life could be equated with a dungeon.

The ultimate day came and she passed,
he wondered why his love couldn't last,
someone who taught him how to live,
he loved her and that was the end of it.

'I'll miss you !' was what he said,
she looked peaceful and that's what he wanted ,
but he knew she was there with him,
even if the future seemed dim.

He looked at her picture and smiled,
'I have no one to share with'
'Talk to me' but nobody could hear him

A girl who came and went,
a girl who loved him fairly well ,
a girl who made him complete,
she still remained his love even when he turned sixty.

The protagonist stayed single for his entire life after the gloomy death of his love ,which totally left him devasted. But nothing changed between  them and their bond which was eternal ,except that now he travelled the world which he always wanted to do with her, alone .
But with two tickets .............................. :')

{So that he could carry her soul along...........}
I have never tried my hand in poetry ,this is my first attempt .....

Random ...

I haven't blogged since ages and today I am all ready to pen down my thoughts in the form of words and try and express whatever I've been observing from the past  one month .

 Strangely ,I felt an over whelming urge to write many a times during this entire period but I just did not give into that demand ,maybe because of time constraints introduced to me by class 12 or some unknown reasons.Okay ,so hey!! as I have lost all contact with blogging (atleast I feel so) , I am facing a problem in starting my topic :PAll this while I have tried to work on my OVER-EXCESSIVE-THINKING-SYNDROME and now have taken a back seat in life .

Life is one lesson which carries on till one's last breath and is filled with moments which can increase ur mental age to twenty years ahead of your chronological one . It's one open forum where you consistently keep coming across a whole new set of people ,who do the job of preparing you for the bigger sharks of the world .
Trust me ,everything or anything that happnes is for the good and when I say this I realise it's easier said than done .After using my blanket as a shield for all these years which was supposed to serve the puropse of protecting me from an imaginary alien invasion I decided to use it for it's actual job and get over with stuff that was only restricted to my own world . 
Meeting new people always teaches one that none of us are the same ,which is a UNIVERSAL fact as well, but as the hour and the minute hand of the clock diligently keeps performing it's duty ,one keeps getting aware about the fact that one's behaviour has to keep altering. keeping in mind the person one is interacting with .People come in and exit ,without one even getting notified and that's how life is and people on the whole are .At the end ,it's all about oneself . And that's what I've seen around right there in the world .
 We all have this bizarre problem of complicating our lives and getting caught up in the viscious cycle of when ,why and what .Sometimes all that a situation demands is to "let it go" and that's how it should be like .
Nobody knows what all one has gone through and trust me no one is intersted to sneak out from their messed up lives to help one out , I am not making a delibrate effort to sound pessimistic but I am just seeing the world from a very different perspective . It's mechanisms fascinate me ,like how people make promises just to break them and how one gets something when it's least desired .

But one thing I know for sure, that one has to fall in love with oneself before anyone else .Umm not exactly a narcissist but something else of a balanced degree ...
 Also ,I  have been indulging myself into fruitful discussions about the existence of GOD with almost everyone I have been speaking to (Yeah so this happened a countless times) and still am left with doubts in my mind .. I have had my share of questions and answers and have been a keen listener to everyone's view point as well .But even after sooo many incidences and reasons put forward by people of all ages and professions , I still haven't been able to conclude and now have rather given up on this topic . Yes ,I do believe in God and his theory of alotting marks to each and everyone of us considering our "KARMA" .

Along with all of this I have been noticing that how this world only works on manipulation and exaggertaion .One has to master in this skill to push the other one and make way for oneself .Sad to see ,how the devil laughs and the angel carries that sympathetic expression of being taken for granted . And here I am referring to Lucifer and the angels in actual sense .